Great news! I just learned that I’ve inherited $2.5 million from a sick English woman whom I’ve never even met. It turns out that the ill old gal inherited the money from her recently passed spouse, and has been instructed to leave me all this dough because of my good works.
I’ve been scratching my head trying to figure out what good works I’ve done that would have merited such generosity, but then I remember what I learned during my boyhood back in Indiana: God Works in Mysterious Ways.
Ain’t it the truth: